This post is part of an ongoing project. It is the diary of a book—a log of the process of writing a debut novel as I write it. You can read more about it here.
Here is the diary of a book and it will be interesting to see how it works out.1
In the summer of 2021, a few weeks out of graduate school2, I had an idea for a novel—my debut novel. Since then, I have been thinking about it, learning how to write a novel, improving my writing craft, jotting down notes and ideas about the story as they have come to me. The notes are spread across different notebooks and different softwares and different Post-it notes. Since that summer, I have written and re-written and re-re-written over 60,000 words, most of which I have ended up ultimately discarding. In the last 16 months, those words have sat untouched in my Scrivener draft. I can make many excuses, but the truth, the undeniable truth, is that I have been afraid of those words. The fear of my words not being good enough has paralyzed the novel, my hands, my thoughts. But the dream persists.
Recently, I came across a quote from James Clear: “It doesn't make sense to continue wanting something if you're not willing to do what it takes to get it.”
And so I feel compelled to either finish the novel that I started years ago, and take it to its conclusion, or to give up the dream of writing entirely.
In the summer of 1938, John Steinbeck wrote The Grapes of Wrath in a burst of creative intensity. While writing it, he kept a daily journal, published posthumously as Working Days: The Journals of The Grapes of Wrath, in which he kept track of his writing progress and process. He challenged himself to finish the novel in 100 days3—writing five days a week. On October 26, 1938, in entry #100, he writes: “Finished this day—and I hope to God it’s good.”
I want to, at least attempt to, push myself in a similar way. And so I have created this project: The Journals Of A Debut Novel—in which I intend to keep track of my progress in writing my first novel and documenting the journey it takes.
I don’t want to reveal the name of the novel yet, primarily because I don’t know for sure if I have the name yet, but for convenience, I have given the project a codename: PROJECT MORPHEUS.
Since I don’t want to spam your inbox with emails, I will send out the updates weekly or fortnightly, or maybe monthly (still undecided, although feel free to tell me what you think). Each update will have a log of what work I did on the novel, the number of words written, general thoughts I might have had while writing it on the process of writing, things I learn along the way about writing and reading, etc. I don’t think I will talk much about the specifics of the characters and the story, since I would prefer not to give out spoilers, and since I don’t know what will happen with this book in the end. It might end up being a bad book. It might never see the light of day. Nonetheless, I hope these journals will still provide some value to me and to you.
“Every book seems the struggle of a whole life. And then, when it is done — pouf. Never happened. Best thing is to get the words down every day. And it is time to start now.” — John Steinbeck, Working Days: The Journals of The Grapes of Wrath
Until next time,
YJ
If you don’t want these updates but would like to still receive other posts from me, you can turn them on/off in your newsletter settings by going to your.substack.com/account.
For more context about Steinbeck’s Working Days, I recommend reading Maria Popova’s post on The Marginalian4.
This is the first sentence of Entry #2 in John Steinbeck’s Working Days: The Journals of The Grapes of Wrath. This project—the journals, not the novel—has been inspired by his journals.
I studied computer science, in case anyone’s wondering :)
Before he started writing this version of the book, he had already made several attempts at writing the book, but was unsatisfied with the results. He had also spent the previous few years doing all the research for the novel he wanted to write.
The Marginalian is one of the best places on the Internet!
This post really motivated me to approach my debut short film in the same manner. All the best, I’ll be waiting for updates.
wonderful. best wishes always!! ✨